Old Lad

I am regularly told as I get older that I should undertake “Decluttering”. I take this to mean that I should get rid of what my family refer to as “Stuff”. Having lived in the house for 40 years there is a considerable amount of stuff about. We all have it and it seems to have some meaning for us. I remember though that when I worked as a GP I became quite philosophical about people’s belongings. Before I explain I need to digress for younger readers. I was of an era when GPs visited people in their own homes. Difficult to believe now I know, and we also got out of bed at night to visit them! What made me philosophical about “Stuff” was the occasions when I would be asked to go to a home where a person had just died. I would stand in the bedroom and look around and realise that the person’s belongings no longer meant anything, even though in life they were probably precious – a demonstration of the adage that “You can’t take it with you”

There were occasions of wry humour at times. I still have a vivid memory of being called to a house late one night where an old man who lived alone had died. I was met by his two sisters, both in their seventies, who ushered me into the bedroom. As I did the necessary brief examination to confirm death, there was a whispered conversation at the foot of the bed. Eventually one of the sisters asked me if I could remove the brother’s false teeth. I explained that this was best left to the undertaker and wondered why they wanted them. The explanation was that they were brand new and one of the sisters felt that they might be a good replacement for hers! What you would now call recycling I suppose.

As I get older my stuff feels more important largely I suppose because it is by way of a memory bank to the life I shared with my late wife. One of our traditions for example was when we travelled to foreign places (or some places in the UK)we would always try to buy a Christmas tree decoration. So each year when the tree was erected it became a visible reminder of travels and places. Interestingly we always found something distinctive even in the several Islamic countries that we visited.

There is a scientific justification for hanging on to stuff as we get older, particularly if you want to preserve memory. The British Psychological Society recommends Reminiscence Therapy as an activity to deal with mental health problems such as Memory Loss, early Dementia or Depression. Reminiscence therapy is an activity which involves remembering and retelling memories from your past and events from your life aided by looking at materials from a particular time. So in a session of Reminiscence Therapy conversation can be about childhood, school days and work life, family holidays or events. It is thought to exercise the part of the brain concerned with memory and well being. And it is thought to give improved cognitive function and improved quality of life It is even recommended in the NICE guideline for the management of Dementia as an intervention to promote cognition and independence.

There is of course a subtle difference between collecting stuff and hoarding. I have never been one for retaining string or brown paper from parcels, or ten years worth of old magazines. Although I do have a healthy collection of strong elastic bands dropped by the postman! Hoarding is about keeping hold of things “just in case it comes in useful” as my Gran used to say. Stuff has usually been actively acquired at a certain point in life. So I am hanging on to my “Stuff” – the pictures, the trinkets, the ceramics etc. as a preventive health measure as the Old Age journey continues. Yes I can declutter some things – a good place to start is probably the “man drawer” full of old phone chargers, USB cables and sundry earphones. And now that we stream a lot of entertainment I probably don’t need all the DVDs or for that matter a DVD player, which looks like it will be going the way of VHS video recorders. But most of my Stuff is a comfort blanket. Although I know that full well when I am no more my children will be on the phone to the local house clearance experts! Hang on to your “Stuff”.