Old Lad

One of the questions you get asked after retirement is “What do you do all day?” Its an interesting one and if I stop to think about it I do indeed ask myself what do I do? There’s all sorts of expectations about if you read the literature on retirement, much of it engendering a guilt trip. People extol the virtues of taking up new past times – learning to paint, playing a musical instrument, taking out gym membership, cycling across Europe. But I suspect in reality most people live a fairly quiet life. Professor Roger Clough in his book “Oldenland” divides us into two categories – those who disengage with their former life of busy busy all the time at work, and those who find it hard to disengage and need some almost full time occupation. I was out to lunch with a group of friends recently and posed the question to them and, not surprisingly most were a bit nonplussed when forced to think about it. One person said she felt she was studying for a degree in “Faffing About”!

I am now 77. I worked until I was 72, admittedly the last couple of years part time and stopped when the Pandemic hit us. After that period of forced idleness I then found myself in a full time caring role for my late wife who was quite physically disabled and then sadly developed dementia. So its only in the last 12 months since she passed away that I now experience the state of being retired. And it definitely is a time requiring considerable adjustment. I am fortunate in still being part of social groups – a Rotarian, a member of 41 Club (aka The Old Codgers) and am still involved in a small way with our local Hospice at Home service. I also am fortunate in living on the edge of the Lake District so plenty of opportunities if weather permits to get out into the natural world. The days have fallen into a routine pattern – a boiled egg and soldiers for breakfast, read the paper on my iPad, take the dog for a morning walk and then think what to do. Although I think I have disengaged from my former life I still feel a sense of guilt if I just sit and read a book, even though I am an avid reader. Why do I feel guilty? The quote at the beginning of this piece is from an Anglican hymn which goes “The trivial round, the Common Task should furnish all we need to ask”. And perhaps that is the answer. Take enjoyment from the fact that I am still healthy enough to to do simple day to day things and as is taught in Mindfullness, live in the moment.

I have posed the question of What’s it like in retirement ,when I was working, to lots of people and usually got a stock answer of “I don’t know how I found the time to work”. But I do wonder as time went by and they got fully into retirement whether the reality was much less busy. One critical factor in coping is of course keeping healthy and maintaining strength and balance, and as I wrote in Sod 70 adopting a discipline of daily exercise. Its surprising how active a bit of vacuum cleaning can be! But so far I am averaging 6000 steps a day, so that’s all good. So if you get the chance ask your retired friends – What do you do all Day?