Old Lad

A journey through old age

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  • Words

    I’ve been a member of Rotary for over twenty years. It followed on from being a member of Round Table when I was under 40. The reasons I joined these organisations was twofold. Firstly it was a way of socialising with people from outside my own profession – doctors can be a bit tedious because they always talk shop! Although I have to admit I could not avoid informal consultations from time to time. The second reason was it was a way of getting involved in charitable activities for the local community. Sadly the next generation ( are they Z or Y or something) are not interested in joining any more. We recently Had a survey of Rotary members in our District in NW England. Out of some 1200 members, 700 are over 70 and 200 are over 80. I fear the writing is on the wall..

    You might be wondering why I titled this piece Words. Each year our Rotary Club recreates the old BBC TV Programme “Call my Bluff”. For those who never saw it, a team of 4 people each give a definition of an obscure word – one is the true definition and 3 are not – or “bluffs”. Because I love words and language I have been a regular player, and our team of 4 asks the audience to identify the person giving the true definition. We have had some spectacular obscure words requiring great ingenuity to describe a false definition which I have to say keeps the brain active. It also requires the ability to keep a straight face and appear to be absolutely truthful. Whether you think doctors are good at this I couldn’t possibly comment!

    Words of course are constantly changing and it is a mark of getting older that you find yourself using what to the modern generation seems archaic language. I still find myself calling the radio the wireless. I took what I termed a bedspread to the laundry to be informed that’s it’s now called a throw. And when did a black coffee become an Americano or a milky coffee become a latte or a flat white. When I was at school in the sixties we saw the rise of coffee bars and the drink known as “frothy coffee” produced by some enormous machine. Plimsolls have become sneakers, jumpers are now sweaters and tee shirts are tops. If you are a true Old Lad you probably still use expressions like “jolly good show”, “Crikey”, or one of my favourites passed on from my Gran which was “ Well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs” – an expression meant to convey wonder or incredulity!

    Perhaps I should start work on an Old Lads phrasebook.

  • Reunions

    I’m just back from a reunion with a group I was at Medical school with. It marks 60 year since we all started at Liverpool and 55 years since we all graduated. There were 11 of us plus some partners. It set me thinking what is it that keeps us all in touch and enjoying meeting up after so many years – the bonds must be strong. One thing that occurred to me was that the experience of starting the Medical course was such an intense experience, and continued to be, that we all established deep friendships as a way of mutual support. The nature of the curriculum in Liverpool was that the first year was largely devoted to the study of anatomy. So consider the impact on a group of 18 year olds, straight from school, spending their days dissecting dead bodies. I suppose nowadays there would be anguished debate about our “Mental Health and Wellbeing”, but in reality we just got on with it and the friendships formed gave us support.

    So what did we talk about? Lots of reminiscing as there always is at these events. Stories of life as junior doctors and a general agreement (I think) that although it was hard work we did have some fun. And fun seems in short supply in today’s NHS. As you would expect in a group of late 70 year olds we have all had experience of becoming patients ourselves with mixed feelings about how we were treated. Its interesting that a lot of my non medical friends think that because I am an ex doctor who worked in the NHS that I will somehow have some sort of privilege and be treated better than the average customer. Not a bit of it. Sadly the personal touch from colleagues has gone so, for example, the practice I followed of giving a colleague who I was treating my home phone number is but a distant memory, In terms of our fitness as a group we are not doing too badly – a few walking aids present – but there were some sad stories of others in our year who are not faring so well. We did eat and drink well and there was some talk of craft beers – and some sampling. There was a slight tinge of sadness for me because my late wife Anne used to enjoy these get togethers and after all she was an integral part of of my medical life. So we parted after 2 days and promised to meet again.

    We met in Harrogate and I have to say I had forgotten what a nice place it is. The town centre has thankfully preserved most of its historic buildings from when it was a spa town and it does still have individuality in its shops and eating places. And if you are of a mind you can still “take the waters” foul smelling though they are. To me it was a welcome respite from all the terrible things going on in the world. If you are in need of a short break I can recommend it. And I travelled by train which I always enjoy, and even better all the trains ran on time!

  • Travel for Old Lads

    So the Arctic adventures are over and I have to say it was everything I hoped it would be. I can recommend Havila ships as the way to travel – excellent service and food, and the added advantage that being ferries they can get into the small fjords that big cruise ships can’t. I was unsure what travelling solo would be like, and if I am honest it was a bit strange. There were conversations on the voyage but a lot of the time I just sat and read and watched the scenery go by. Single travellers are discriminated against by the travel industry. Costs are much higher with single supplements adding at least 50% or more to the costs. This even applies to those companies that specialise in solo traveller holidays. Add to this the fact that travel insurance is higher as you get older and it becomes clear that travel is expensive for Old Lads.

    I travelled by train to Manchester Airport – the most relaxing way to get there without the stress of motorways. However it is 7 years since I last flew and I had forgotten what a dismal and dispiriting exercise air travel is! Dante’s Inferno describes, 9 circles of Hell. To my mind Manchester Airport is the tenth! It’s now too big and crowded, and appears to have been planned as a busy shopping mall that planes occasionally visit. The so called automatic check in didn’t work in that it did not print my bag tags. So I go to the check in desk and explain why I can’t do a bag drop, to be met with the reply “ Are you sure it didn’t work”! Security procedures are the usual nightmare – monosyllabic attendants who bark instruction – jacket off, belt off, pockets empty. They might as well be issued with cattle prods! Despite emptying my pockets and having no metal on me the new scanner sounds an alert. “What’s in your pocket” – “ It’s a handkerchief “ – “Show me!” and then I am grudgingly let through. “I’m paying you to do this” I mutter understand my breath. What happened to a bit of common courtesy? And so the long trudge to the boarding gate. I pass a sign that tells me it’s 6 minutes walk to the gate I need.

    Is it because I’m older that I find this so unpleasant? It certainly feels more exhausting than it used to.. Lots of travel is meant to be the lot of a fitter and older generation but I would venture to say that air travel is getting to be too stressful with not just the airport horrors but also the fact that modern airlines have craftily cut back on space so expect to sit uncomfortably for 2 to 3 hours. And if like me you are getting a bit stiff getting up off a chair, try getting in and out of the middle seat of 3 in a Boeing 737! I suspect it may be a while before I contemplate flying. I think I will stick to the train. It’s the only way to travel for Old Lads – and the railway sandwiches have certainly got better!

    ,

  • Arctic Adventure

    So here’s a first. I am blogging from inside the Arctic Circle! It’s now 7 days into a voyage up and down the Norwegian Coast and round the North Cape. I know it’s traditional when age sets in to start going on cruises. But to be honest I have never fancied being cooped up with 6000 of my fellow human beings. This experience is a bit more minimalist. The ship is brand new and hybrid powered ( The charging point on the quayside at various ports is a wonder to be hold – I suppose it makes all the lights go out in the town when the ship plugs in!). There are only 170 cabins and apart from excursions ashore the only activities are food and drink and watching the scenery go by.. It is amazingly relaxing.

    It is of course cold – it is partly in the Arctic in February. Which leads me to wonder about some of the comments I have heard about it being very cold. A lady from Arizona was bemoaning the fact that she had never felt so cold. Me being from “up North” am not finding it too bad. But I ask myself, why did she come on the trip! I will be honest and say that the age range on the trip is what you would call Silver Surfers. It’s a heart warming tribute to how active you can be in old age. This morning we had the opportunity to go dog sledding – a fantastic experience even if getting Up and down off the sled was a bit of a challenge! The ship calls at 34 ports up and down the coast with some stops only be 15 minutes to take on or offload cargo. It’s a good way to see Norway especially where we have a few hours stop. By the way last time I said I would comment on litter – there isn’t any in Norway!

    You do get some idea about the hardiness of the polar explorers of years ago. The lowest temperature we have had is -20C. What it must have been like at -40 is difficult to comprehend. Another thing I have found interesting Is the story of the Nazi occupation of Norway and the effects it had. I don’t think we in the UK have given much thought to it with a lot of our history concentrating on the War across Western Europe and the likes of D Day. Very few War Movies have featured Norway. I remember as a teenager reading HMS Ulysses by Alister Maclean and watching Kenneth More in Sink the Bismark but not much else.. But the truth is that Norway suffered badly. Place like Tromso and the small ports around the North Cape had to be completely rebuilt because the Germans adopted a scorched earth policy as they withdrew and destroyed everything. So it’s been an interesting history lesson. It’s also proved that you can be an Old Lad of 77 and still go dog sledding! Time to plan the next adventure!

  • Litter

    What is it about our country that we tolerate litter and rubbish everywhere? I walk my dog each day up the small road we live on, and the verges and hedgerows are full of litter, most of it having been thrown from passing vehicles. The nerd that I now am in old age has carried out a survey of what is cast aside. In first place are Macdonalds containers, second are disposable coffee cups and third energy drink cans. Which makes me think that a lot of this stuff is deposited by late night workers – I’ve never actually caught anybody red handed during the day. Why do people do it?

    WhenI was at school we had numerous lessons about litter, usually under the umbrella of the Keep Britain Tidy campaign. And such was the indoctrination that I can’t ever bring myself to chuck anything out of the car window. Our current generation of youngsters do get taught about the environment and the importance of not polluting it. And children often go on litter picks. But something seems to go wrong as they grow up.

    I am writing this blog whilst sailing up the Norwegian coast towards the arctic. What has been striking about my brief experience of Norway is there seems to be an absence of litter. So what is different about the Norwegian psyche compared with us British? Mind you we are not the only ones in the World to leave our rubbish behind. Many years ago I worked in the Middle East for a year. Desert trips often revealed rubbish – believe it or not commonly Pepsi Cola bottles!

    We really need to tackle the problem. Or is this just my inner grumpy old man talking. I’ll let you know what it’s like beyond the arctic circle!

  • Preserving memories

    Like most of us I suspect I embraced the age of the digital camera and the convenience it brought to photography. I remember the days of the old film cameras. The ritual of taking the film out after a holiday, posting it off to a processing laboratory and then waiting with trepidation to see which photographs had come out and which were what you intended them to be. The great advantage of digital cameras and phone cameras is that the image you save is what you took at the time.

    I was scrolling through my Ipad the other day and was amazed to see that I have nearly 3000 photographs saved in this thing called The Cloud. It brought home to me the fact that we now rarely print out photographs. And yet photographs are the key to memories – along with other things like sounds, music, or smells. I have a large collection of photograph albums which record early family life and in many ways turning the pages of an album is more pleasurable than scrolling through a device. Its just a year since my wife Anne died and memories are important. She had a prolonged period of ill health in her last 3 years including, sadly, the development of dementia. So I became a full time carer which looking back was a very intense experience. In remembering Anne the problem at the moment is that my recall and memories are dominated by this period and it’s difficult to call up memories of happier times. So that is where photographs are a crucial part of remembering our long life together.

    However I now wonder about the fragility of my photograph collection that is in digital format. If and when we experience a serious cyber attack which could take out the “Cloud storage” in the massive data centres we are building, will all my digital photographs be destroyed? the tech experts claim to have back up for this sort of contingency but recent events where businesses have come under attack and be virtually paralysed does not give a lot of confidence. So perhaps we should consider printing out more photographs in the future to preserve our memories.. When I was studying physics at school we had a dark room and there was something quite mystical about developing photographs -watching the images appear out of the developing fluid bath and then printing them out, mostly black and white prints of course. I have spoken before about visiting an exhibition of Royal Photography and the power of black and white images. In fact if I am honest I get much more pleasure from visiting a photographic exhibition than an art gallery. I think it is right that the camera doesn’t lie

    I think we should all resolve to save a few more prints of photographs in an archive. Its important for the next generation who may not be able to access our digital devices after we depart. Time for a coffee and a browse through the photograph albums!

  • Happy New Year

    So here we are at 2026. To quote John Major when he became Prime Minister – “Who would have thought it!”. This year marks two milestones in my journey through old age. In the Summer when I reach 78 I will be the longest living person on the paternal side of my family. The maternal side were longer livers well into their eighties. And this year marks 60 years since I left the grammar school and launched into a career.

    Interestingly I recently found a copy of a school science magazine published in 1966. In it was an article written by me entitled “Surgery or Science Fiction” which described the introduction of the Heart Lung machine for cardiac bypass surgery. The sixties were an interesting time scientifically. Computers were large reel to reel things housed in a large room and being fed by punched cards ( remember those) . Microchips did not exist – in physics we grappled with new fangled things called transistors. NASA was preparing for Moon landings.. In medical school when I started CPR was the new way to deal with cardiac arrest and external defibrillators had just arrived.. The horror of thalidomide was casting a shadow over new pharmaceuticals and Valium was reckoned to be the best thing since sliced bread for treatment of anxiety! The sixties were probably the decade for the amount of knowledge my brain had to absorb – surprisingly much of it still seems to be there.

    I don’t make New Year resolutions, I go with the flow. But in this journey through old age I look back on the last 12 months and do a physical and mental MOT. So what does the checklist show. Vision and Hearing still ok. Sleep pattern ok apart from the twice nightly loo. I feel a bit stiffer physically, I often need to sit down to put my trousers on and rising from a chair is sometimes a challenge, but I have managed my goal of walking a minimum of 6000 steps a day. Adapting to widowhood has had its challenges.

    So will being 78 feel any different? Who knows! In February I am taking a voyage up the Norwegian coast into the Arctic Circle. Can a 78 year old go dog sledding? Watch this space!

  • The ghost of Christmas past

    So here we are again – Christmas Eve! Am I excited- well not really. I must confess that for a long time I have had mixed feelings about Christmas. It probably started when I qualified in Medicine and had to endure the false jollity of Christmas on the Ward. On the surface the public reckoned that it was all jolly japes between doctors and nurses but underneath it could be sad. And we always had deaths. When I became a GP in the 1970s the weeks leading up to Christmas always seemed to include sad things happening to families. We went through a spate of teenagers being killed on motor bikes around Christmas and I always felt desperately sorry for families who would thereafter have Christmas as a sad anniversary. So as the years went by I had this sense of apprehension in the weeks leading up to the festival. Of course there were happy times when our children were young enough to believe in Santa. There is nothing quite like waking at 6am on Christmas morning and hearing shouts of “He’s been!” And we had some memorable family get togethers. So there were some positive things to look forward to.

    However now Christmas doesn’t produce the same sense of anticipation and I think the reason is that a lot of the things that were special about Christmas have been diluted by the way we live now.. Let me give some examples. Christmas shopping was an annual ritual involving a day out in one of the bigger towns or cities – now we do it on line. There were certain foods that were seasonal to Christmas – dates, mixed bags of nuts, chocolate oranges, twiglets, sprouts, tangerines, spiced biscuits – now they are in the shops all year round, and chocolate oranges have got smaller! ( I digress to say I await the first prosecution under the trades description rules for supermarkets that describe tangerines as easy peelers!) We have become a society which expects everything all the time and seasonality has gone. And I suppose part of the attraction of Christmas was that it was this festival in the midst of the dark nights which offered something different.

    I am not a grinch by any means . I do enjoy Christmas things – Christmas lights, carols, family get togethers, silly jokes in crackers and dressing up as Santa Claus for our Rotary Club sleigh. But as the years go by it just seems like an ordinary day. Although if you are a five or six year old I’m sure it doesn’t! Merry Christmas.

    t

  • Nanny State

    It’s been very windy up north. Yesterday, however, I received advice which was life changing. The RAC no less published advice that when I am driving when it is windy, I should slow down and hold firmly on to the steering wheel. Well who would have thought it! I don’t know if it is a feature of becoming an old lad, but there does not seem to a day goes by when some official body or organisation gives out advice which falls into my definition of statements of the blindingly obvious. In the last week I have been told to wear warm clothing when it is cold, to not attempt to wade through or swim through flood water, to hold on to my dog’s lead firmly, and be careful on icy pavements. I’ve also been exhorted to not cough or sneeze over people if I have a cold. What happened to good manners!

    As I say this sort of thing seems more prevalent which begs the question- Why? Perhaps we now have a generation which requires hand holding and advice rather than being expected to use common sense. There is a suspicion that the tide of advice and information may have something to do with the growth of Communication Teams in public bodies. Certainly when I was working in the NHS there were incentives for staff to produce advice to justify their existence. And there were inevitable award ceremonies for teams who garnered publicity. The paradox is that the majority of people have never had so much easy access to information via the internet and reliable methods of searching for it. This week we are in the midst of a flu epidemic and there are concerns about slow take up of the vaccine. A representative of care homes was using the excuse that people did not know how to get a vaccination, and that the “Government “ should provide more information. Really? Google flu vaccination and you will instantly get the information. The whole thing becomes a downward spiral with people expecting to be told what to do rather than thinking for themselves and so the nanny state grows.

    It may be that we are gradually removing resilience from younger people. When I moved from junior school to the grammar school It involved a journey using 3 bus routes morning and evening. I had a couple of guided dry runs and then had to deal with the journey, the occasional bus running late or not turning up and the fogs in industrial Lancashire which would disrupt the journey. And without the benefit of mobile phones. It was a good exercise in problem solving and thinking for yourself. Perhaps I should be more tolerant of the nanny state but at the moment it’s a bit of an irritation.

  • The Trivial Round, The Common Task

    One of the questions you get asked after retirement is “What do you do all day?” Its an interesting one and if I stop to think about it I do indeed ask myself what do I do? There’s all sorts of expectations about if you read the literature on retirement, much of it engendering a guilt trip. People extol the virtues of taking up new past times – learning to paint, playing a musical instrument, taking out gym membership, cycling across Europe. But I suspect in reality most people live a fairly quiet life. Professor Roger Clough in his book “Oldenland” divides us into two categories – those who disengage with their former life of busy busy all the time at work, and those who find it hard to disengage and need some almost full time occupation. I was out to lunch with a group of friends recently and posed the question to them and, not surprisingly most were a bit nonplussed when forced to think about it. One person said she felt she was studying for a degree in “Faffing About”!

    I am now 77. I worked until I was 72, admittedly the last couple of years part time and stopped when the Pandemic hit us. After that period of forced idleness I then found myself in a full time caring role for my late wife who was quite physically disabled and then sadly developed dementia. So its only in the last 12 months since she passed away that I now experience the state of being retired. And it definitely is a time requiring considerable adjustment. I am fortunate in still being part of social groups – a Rotarian, a member of 41 Club (aka The Old Codgers) and am still involved in a small way with our local Hospice at Home service. I also am fortunate in living on the edge of the Lake District so plenty of opportunities if weather permits to get out into the natural world. The days have fallen into a routine pattern – a boiled egg and soldiers for breakfast, read the paper on my iPad, take the dog for a morning walk and then think what to do. Although I think I have disengaged from my former life I still feel a sense of guilt if I just sit and read a book, even though I am an avid reader. Why do I feel guilty? The quote at the beginning of this piece is from an Anglican hymn which goes “The trivial round, the Common Task should furnish all we need to ask”. And perhaps that is the answer. Take enjoyment from the fact that I am still healthy enough to to do simple day to day things and as is taught in Mindfullness, live in the moment.

    I have posed the question of What’s it like in retirement ,when I was working, to lots of people and usually got a stock answer of “I don’t know how I found the time to work”. But I do wonder as time went by and they got fully into retirement whether the reality was much less busy. One critical factor in coping is of course keeping healthy and maintaining strength and balance, and as I wrote in Sod 70 adopting a discipline of daily exercise. Its surprising how active a bit of vacuum cleaning can be! But so far I am averaging 6000 steps a day, so that’s all good. So if you get the chance ask your retired friends – What do you do all Day?