Old Lad

We seem to be becoming a lot less kind and gentle as a nation. Passive aggression and overt aggression seems to be seen everywhere. When I was growing up in the fifties we were taught to be kind and courteous. Yes there were always bullies about but I don’t remember the extreme nastinesses that young people can inflict on each other, particularly on social media. A lot of this character has persisted now that I am an old lad. So I still say please and Thankyou if somebody does something for me – if I am out for a meal, for example, I automatically say Thankyou when a server clears away my plate. It’s just something automatic but it’s often greeted with a look of surprise. I still hold doors open to let a woman pass through and I still try to walk on the outside on a pavement ( keeps the sword arm free!)

But look closely and see how much aggression is around and almost becoming normalised. Walking around the town I am struck by the language some parents use towards their children. NHS staff are increasingly sworn at and verbally abused. Yes I know it’s frustrating sitting waiting in an A&E department but does the aggression help? Watching the behaviour of some players and fans in the World Cup shows lots of examples of needless violent and aggressive behaviour, which sadly gets copied by junior footballers and their parents! Mass protest nowadays often spills over from being peaceful to outright nasty and hostile behaviour against anybody who does not share your point of view. Is it social media to blame? Or the exaggerated rhetoric used in the media – where words like catastrophic, nightmare, horror show, disaster are used to describe w things that are nothing of the sort. For example heavy rain causing a carnival to be cancelled is not a disaster on the same scale as the earthquake in Venezuela. I was out walking the dog in a local park last week and came across some local council workers collecting litter. They were dressed in all black tee shirts and trousers with baseball caps – a bit like the police. Emblazoned on the back of the tee shirts were the words “ Environmental Crime Unit”. Really? I know litter is annoying and socially not acceptable but there does seem to be a bit of hyperbole at work and to me it’s a bit passive aggressive.

Given the state of our current political discourse and the way it is stoked by the media, it is difficult to see how we can regain an atmosphere of kindness and niceness towards each other. The late actor Paul Eddington ( star of The Good Life and Yes Minister) was once interviewed and asked what he would like to be remembered for and what he would like as an epitaph. His reply was “ He never did anyone any harm”. That doesn’t seem a bad principle to me.